Richard:

Call him off. I won't ask again. Call him off. Call him off! I never miss. It-it-it is approximately 12 o'clock so far. Uh, the bus hasn't a-a-arrived. Renard, this is Bond! I've killed Electra, she's dead... and I'm coming out, and I'm gonna kill you!

Uh, someone's dollar o-o-on the ground. Whoever dropped that... should be more careful with their money. Th-there's a woman sitting on the bench.

Sh-she's wearing a shirt and some pants. She has a, a b-brown bag. She's quite a-attractive, but not as attractive as others I've seen. She just looked at me. Now she's looking away. She's, she's moving over to the side of the bench. She's scratching her head and putting her hand down on her lap. Hey, what's so funny?

Amanda:

What?

Richard:

A-a-are you laughing?

Amanda:

No, no. Do you always talk about people right in front of them?

Richard:

All the time. I'm, uh, Richard.

Amanda:

Amanda.

Richard:

Uh, you're engaged.

Amanda:

Ah, yes, I'm engaged.

Richard:

I would like to get engaged to my girlfriend. Uh, Julia. How long have you been engaged for?

Amanda:

Six months.

Richard:

Amanda, where are you off to this morning?

Amanda:

I'm going to work.

Richard:

I would like to go to work.

Amanda:

Well, you'll have to get yourself a job then, won't you?

Richard:

Yes, but...yes, but I wouldn't get one that I actually liked, though. "But soft...but soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon!" Now, who was that?

Amanda:

Um, was that Shakespeare?

Richard:

Very good. Now, who's this? "Ah, nah, nah, nah, Betty. We're not having another cat in this house. I have enough trouble with Cleopatra. She did a whoopsie in my beret."

Amanda:

Frank Spencer.

Richard:

Very good, now. Now, who's this? "That's not my father. Just my r-reflection." "No, look, water... You see? He lives in you." "Hmm, Simba!" "Father?" "Simba, you have forgotten me." "No, how could I?" "You, you have forgotten who you are, and so, you've forgotten me. Look inside, i-in yourself, Simba. You are more than you ever become. You must take your place in the circle of life."

Amanda:

The Lion King!

Richard:

Very good, now, your turn!

Amanda:

Oh, no. You don't want my voice on that thing.

Richard:

Yes, I do.

Amanda:

Uh, okay. Um..."oh, Betty, the cat's done another whoopsie in my hat."

Richard:

You mean...you mean in your beret.

Amanda:

"In my beret."

Richard:

That wasn't very good.

Amanda:

No, I can't do impersonations.

Richard:

No, but you should have said something about yourself, then. Like... "My name is Richard. I am the most extremely good looking man in the world. All my women and all my girls love me. They're hubba-hubba-hubba and they're hot. I'm, I'm in love." Hey, do you want to record something?

Damien:

No thanks.

Richard:

Too bad! Just did!

Damien:

No thanks.

Richard:

I am what I am. I can't change it. My brother, he doesn't understand. He thinks that he doesn't want to be near me. I always seem to embarrass him. And I don't like to be ignored!

Amanda:

You should tell him that.

Richard:

This is mine.

Amanda:

Oh! Oh, okay. Well, it was really nice to meet you.

Richard:

L-likewise. Oh, a goodbye message before I go?

Amanda:

Oh. Uh, My name is Amanda. I am the most attractive woman in the world. And, what's your brother's name?

Richard:

Damien.

Amanda:

Damien, you have a very entertaining brother.

Richard:

Why, thank you. I've taught you well.

Amanda:

Take care.

Bus Driver:

G'day, mate, how you going?

Damien:

Alright, can I get, um, 90 cents, please?

Bus driver:

Mate? You got anything smaller than 20?

Damien:

No, I just got this outta the ATM.

Bus driver:

Mate, I'm not changing it. I can't change it.

Damien:

Yeah, I know, but I thought, I-

Bus driver:

There's a shop down the road.

Damien:

Yeah, I know, I don't have any other money, mate.

Bus driver:

Well, mate, I'm not gonna change it. You're gonna have to get off.

Damien:

I need to catch this bus.

Bus driver:

Mate. I only get $20 in change. So if I change there, I can't, you know.

Damien:

Yeah, no, I don't have any other-

[Richard pays bus driver]

Bus Driver:

Oh, look at this. Champion. Thanks, mate. Do you know that bloke? Thanks, mate.

[Voice recorder playback - voice over]

Amanda:

Damien, you have a very entertaining brother.

Richard:

Why, thank you. I've taught you well.

Amanda:

Take care.